If you decide you have emotionally healed enough to develop a relationship with a significant other, good for you, but it is complicated. It should be noted that the children did not decide to be in a relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend. They did not, nor should they, decide that their parents were going to divorce. They may resent that you are attempting to replace their mother or father with somebody they don't even know. I have worked with thousands of children who resent their parents for trying to be happy after a divorce. I have also, unfortunately, worked with thousands of divorced parents who have chosen their new relationship over their existing relationship with their children from their previous marriage. Whether or not they say it or not, children are scared that they are going to be left out or replaced. If you think about it, the child is actually correct when they think or announce the new significant other is not their parent whereas they do not choose to be supervised by an individual who they did not choose to be in a relationship with.

I would recommend that the children be introduced to a new romantic partner in an environment where the child has control of whether or not they interact with this individual. For example, inviting your boyfriend or girlfriend to your home for dinner so the children can choose to interact with this individual during the meal and have the ability to leave the area after the meal may be a good first step. Forcing someone to be in a relationship is never a good idea. It is up to your new partner to treat the children with respect and to provide your children with the time and effort to develop an appropriate relationship with them. With ongoing positive interactions with your children, there is a much higher likelihood, no guarantees, that the children will eventually accept parenting from the new partner if they have learned to respect that person. However, it should be noted that you are their primary parent and should never relinquish complete parental control of your children to your new partner. If your partner treats your children with the "It's my way or the highway." philosophy there are most likely going to be increasingly difficult problems that are going to put you in a position to choose your new partner or the children.

*Disclaimer: The materials provided in this article are for informational purposes only. Use of and access to this article or any of the links contained within the article or website do not create a relationship between the author and the user or browser. We are professionals that have been trained and have experience in assisting individuals going through a divorce. We are not lawyers and do not provide legal advice.

You have moved on, ready to have a new relationship and all that entails. You have begun a new chapter in your life. Unfortunately, it looks like your children aren't joining you in your happiness with your new relationship. In fact, they may be actively working to undermine your happiness by being disrespectful to your new partner. This is not only frustrating, it can cause you a lot of distress as your new relationship is impacted by your children's behaviors. It is not unusual for children to feel threatened by Mom or Dad's new relationship. They not only have two households where they used to have one, they now have to share their parent with another person. The good news, children can and do adjust to such additions and you can help them do it well.

First of all, while your children are right that your new partner is not their parent, your partner is an adult deserving of respect. After all, your children are capable of respecting other adults in their lives, such as grandparents, teachers and others in authority. You even teach them basic politeness to strangers. It is important to recognize these others are given specific roles that your children learn to respect. So, do the same for your significant other, your partner deserves respect because they are someone you have decided is worthy. This should mean your children are expected to show respectful behaviors and there are consequences for disrespectful behaviors which you enforce. Recognize you cannot make your children like your new significant other, only that you will expect certain behaviors.

It will be easier for your children to be respectful of your significant other if you keep the role of parenting to yourself; you are the disciplinarian and enforcer of rules for your children. Actively support your significant other in front of your children; you and he or she will not always agree but a united front with your children will go a long way to reducing openings for disrespect; as will having your significant other share in rewarding your children.

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*Disclaimer: The materials provided in this article are for informational purposes only. Use of and access to this article or any of the links contained within the article or website do not create a relationship between the author and the user or browser. We are professionals that have been trained and have experience in assisting individuals going through a divorce. We are not lawyers and do not provide legal advice.