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What is the best way to communicate with my significant other during a divorce?

Posted: July 2, 2017

Dr. Brian Stress, Psy.D.

What is the best way to communicate with my significant other during a divorce?

Posted: July 2, 2017

Nicole Myers, MS, LPC

First of all, consider what's to be gained by working on communication with your ex. Moving on after divorce means making decisions to manage the ending of the marriage and the start of life as a newly single, and more experienced, person. Remaining goal-oriented in any communication with your ex-spouse will increase your chances of having an adequate outcome to your concerns. Keeping such communication brief and to-the-point will reduce the opportunities for arguments which do not meet your goals. Consider taking an impersonal tone with your ex-spouse; being intentionally business-like in these interactions will help reduce emotionality in the moment. Reducing your own emotional reaction in the moment makes you less vulnerable to others' attempts upset you.

Sometimes, a newly divorced person may find verbal communication simply too painful to contemplate. When that happens, consider communication via email or text. Both text and email can be reviewed before being sent to be business-like and focused on the issue at hand. You can also take time to ask a support person that you trust, professional or personal friend, for feedback about your wording. Remember, always ask yourself clearly what your goal is in any communication with your ex-spouse and stick to that goal.


*Disclaimer: The materials provided in this article are for informational purposes only. Use of and access to this article or any of the links contained within the article or website do not create a relationship between the author and the user or browser. We are professionals that have been trained and have experience in assisting individuals going through a divorce. We are not lawyers and do not provide legal advice.

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